Today has been a seriously awful day.
I am fighting a wretched cold, and I am losing. BOTH my best friends have called in tears because their relationships both ended this week. Also general cramping and nastiness. Thank God for the weekend away next week!!!!
I had work scheduled from 9AM to 10 PM tonight, with a few hours in between to make furtive grabs for meals and my sanity and some fresh lipstick. And as mentioned in the post before this, to make some phone calls. I had a narrow margin between when my RE's office re-opens for lunch (2PM) and the start of my next class (2:30).
In my experience, they always come back late from lunch anyway, and today was no exception. I didn't get through until 2:16.
The good news: I can use the free meds towards an IVF cycle. They agree that it's time to stop with the IUI's, because we are getting nowhere.
So I put myself on the list for January. In order to have caught the IVF boat that leaves in November, I would need to complete my protocols by...well, by today. And start BCP tomorrow. Not happening, because as I have mentioned before, my parents are helping us with this, and I really don't want to make the commitment until I have let them know what's going on.
I have never discussed IVF with my father- it has always been mom. She knows the costs, the odds, everything, and has always said that if push came to shove, they would help us out. But she wasn't home when I called the house, so I talked to Dad, and found out (to my serious dismay) that she hasn't discussed any of this with him.
He freaked out. In his defense. The talk of test tubes and petri dishes and injections is something that he has studiously avoided, and he has referred to IUI as "The turkey baster option" consistently throughout. There was a lot of, "WHAT percentage? HOW much?!!!!!"
I was shocked that mom hadn't discussed this with him, and on top of everything else, it was just too much. I managed to get home and basically had a teary breakdown of epic proportions. The Man petted me and cuddled me, told me not to be an idiot when I wailed that I was "a millstone around his neck", and tried to get me to call in sick for my evening shift at work. When that failed, he made me mac and cheese while I iced my puffy face.
I made it through work. Mom called and I called back and we had a rational chat during my drive home. I feel a lot more hopeful about things.
Then I got home and The Man played me this.
And then THIS:
"It made me think of you," he said. "I know you probably think it's cheesy." (I am more of a rock and roll kind of girl.) It didn't matter to me though. I was still crying, but happy tears.
I may be sad, but boy am I lucky.
3 comments:
jenna - I am so sorry that you had such a wreched day. I think we have similiar lives for my father also refers to my iui as turkey basting. He told me he watches private practice now, so he can better understand all of this "expensive baby talk". He still insists that I need cheap bottle of boone's farm and wild night of conoodling. YIKES. I am glad that you and your mother were able to discuss all of this and with rational thoughts. Looks like the Man put alot of thoughts/hugs into you when you got home. Hope that offered you a little comfort.
I'm sorry you had such an awful day, though the very last end part sounds pretty good. I'm glad you have such a supportive hubby. It does make things easier.
Do you already do acupuncture? If not, you may want to consider it as you prep for January.
Isn't it nice when even at the end of the worstest (yes, I know it's not a word, but I like the way it sounds) day ever, you can come home to such loving arms? I am sorry that your day sucked. I hate days like that - here's hoping for more happy days soon! In the meantime, I am thinking of you and sending you a BIG cyberhug!
Post a Comment