Your Honor, I plead my uterus.

I had jury duty today.

Booooo! Hiss!

I have gone in to perform my civic duty exactly once, mainly because when you're in college and living in apartments, your address changes quite a bit. Buy now those roots I have put down are enabling THEM to find me.

Anyway, the last time I went in was a year ago. Everyone said, "Oh, they won't pick you".

I ended up being Juror Number One. %&$#!

So we are all waiting in the jury room like a herd of cattle, and our official minder mentions that one of the trials is expected to go for 15 court days.

Maybe I should blame it on the progesterone, but somehow that went through my head and came out as "Oh! Two weeks!" I did the math and said to myself, "Well, this will while away the 2ww for me, give me something else to think about."

It wasn't until I actually got called to go into the court room that I realized, "Wait- 15 court days is THREE weeks. OMFG! What if they pick me?!(*If I'm not pregnant)I am going to miss the next cycle and it will be the END OF THE WORLD!!!!"

Then the judge started talking, and mentioned that there are holidays, such as Rosh Hashanah and Labor Day when the court isn't in session, and with this and that or the other, we're looking at a month.

I managed to keep from hyper-ventilating. People raising their hands to claim hardship right and left. Saying things like, "I am self employed, so a month on 15 bucks a day would constitute financial hardship for me." Or "Well, I have a weak bladder," as well as incredibly fraudulent things along the lines of,"My liver fell out last week, and I am holding it in place with Velcro and chewing gum."

There was no way I was comfortable announcing to the room at large that I needed to have an open schedule in order to take drugs and have ultrasounds in order to eventually be artificially inseminated. (*maybe)

They finally got to me and I said I that the length of the trial would interfere with my "Cyclical medical treatment, and the doctor's appointments associated with it." When the judge asked, I just said that no, they could not be rescheduled.

All of this is true, but I feel a little guilty about it, although I am assuming they all think I am dealing with some obscure form of female trouble.

Or that I am a werewolf.

In any case, it worked. I got released to go back into the jury pool, and at the end of the day, there were only three of us left in the room, and they released us back into the wild.

* The Maybe's and the If's? Did not even occur to me at the time. It's like the next cycle is written in stone inside my pointy little head- uh-oh.