That ache in your throat

You guys all know that feeling right? Your face gets hot, and your throat does that hurty thing, and your eyes water, and you can feel that vein in your eyebrow throbbing like an angry, angry tribal drum. Sometimes it culminates in the tear explosion.

I experienced all of these this morning. In addition, I wanted to punch someone. Perhaps several someones. Please allow me to explain!

Frustration, she is a beeyotch.

I woke up this morning, threw on my clothes, and headed to Quest Diagnostics. There are at least five of them right by my house, but I was told to go to the First & Shields location, and get my blood drawn NO LATER THAN 7:30. Yes, in the morning. Sadistic bastards. There was no explanation for the timing or the location. I figured that maybe the timing was some carefully orchestrated chemical thing, and the location would be the only one open at that ungodly hour.

For those of you who don't live in Fresno, First and Shields is a pretty major intersection. Two strip malls, adjacent to each other. As a veteran of many Quest Lab visits, I assumed the lab would be in one of them.

I was wrong. I circled and circled like a hungry shark, then finally called 411. They had two addresses for me, and neither was the prescribed location. I called them anyway, and got the eternally ringing phone.

I looked again at my instructions. No phone number for the lab, no address, just FIRST/SHIELDS scrawled under DRINK WATER/LIMIT SALT.

I looked at the clock. 7:15.

Shit.

I called the doctor's office, and got forwarded to their exchange. I listened to the "Thank you for your patience" shpiel several times before I lost patience. I looked at the lab slip and called the Quest headquarters in Sacramento. I pressed "1" for "patient care" and it basically said, "We don't give out results over the phone! Thank You for calling! Have a Super Day!" *click*

Now it's 7:20. I know because I looked up after wedging my head between my knees and screaming profanities loud enough to startle the seagulls in the Food For Less parking lot.

I called the clinic again, was put on hold for the exchange, and got Barbara, who is an angel disguised as a mere mortal walking the earth. The woman heard the impending tears and sprang into action.

Barbara tried desperately to reach my doctor's office, to no avail. She finally checked the phone book, verified that there is no Quest Diagnostics listed on First or Shields, but mentioned that she found a location which had opened at 7AM, and was 5 minutes from my house. (But 15 from where I was now.)

At this point, it's 7:35, and I would have cheerfully walked up to a box in an alley staffed entirely by feral cats in order to allow them to claw my blood out of my arm. I thanked Barbara profusely, threw my phone across the car, and threw myself on the mercy of the nice ladies at the lab. They got me in and out of there in 5 minutes. No claws.
(Love. Them.)

Then I went into my ultrasound at 9:45 and explained, and they looked at me like I was a moron.

"It's right behind the Target! They are the only location that has the means to read the sample ASAP!"

I said (rather tartly) that if they hadn't seen fit to supply me with that info, how could I be expected to know which directive was more important? Time, or location?

In any case, it doesn't matter. My ovaries evidently do weigh about 8 lbs each (Righty is SINKING due to the extra weight, which is a little daunting) But he came through for me on this cycle...sort of. Two follicles on each side, 13 & 14 mm on the left, 12 and 13mm on the right.

I have to order another freaking pen of Gonal-F though. And do a new blood draw and ultrasound on Wednesday.

I have concrete plans...so why am I feeling so disappointed? Maybe I just need to have a good cry. I am so frustrated with this doctor's office.

This time, they gave me a pre-printed sheet explaining that it's actually 7:30 AM or at least two hours before your appointment. Oh, and it has an actual address and contact info for the lab. Why the hell didn't I get this last time?

At least I am not taking Clomid, so I know that I am not the insane person in this scenario.

So anyway, thanks for making it this far, and if you get a spare minute please send some happy "Miracle-Gro" type thoughts in the direction of our 4 follicles. And to my mother'ssmoking credit card (5 pens of Gonal-F! Aiiiigh!)

Edited to add: Here (because I CANNOT let it go) is the First/Shields Map:


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And here is the map for where the lab actually is:


View Larger Map

No wonder I couldn't freaking find it!