Oh boy.
I have written this post a couple of times, and nothing that I committed to typing could sum up what I was trying to convey. Suffice it to say, I don't want to be melodramatic or anything- I am just kind of tapped out.
All of my energy has been going into work. I took over another teacher's classes, so I have gone from teaching 2-3 classes a day to 5 or 6. Several of those are an hour drive, each way. With that and the gym, my time is just getting sucked into oblivion. Also, The Man is finishing college and has started his weekends in the Bay Area, so any free time we have seems to get spent with each other.
Another reason I haven't blogged is that my last post just scared me. I wrote it from a bad place,and it's pretty obvious when I read it that when I say I am content to sit and wait, that's just a big fat lie.
Sitting and waiting is something that I am stuck with. I am feeling that acutely right now, and just trying to pour myself into other pursuits that I can at least have some measure of success with. I am a great teacher, so I am teaching. I am also in great shape for someone my size, and am feeling healthier spiritually, emotionally, and physically, with each passing day.
I can tell that the change in activity level and nutrition is doing something to my body. I am pissed off that I let myself be deluded into thinking that making these changes might be detrimental to my fertility journey. Different fertility indicators have gotten stronger, and that's as blunt as I am going to get. You guys put up with enough from me!
That being said, not much to report. I just didn't feel that it was "fair" to post, because I know how generous you guys all are with your support, and I haven't had any support to give in return. What I really needed was a break, and I took one, and while I am still kinda "meh", I will take "meh" over psychotic and weepy any day of the week.
I missed you guys. How are you doing?
About Me
- jenna sais quoi
- The random musings of a thirty-something woman who has been described as a fiesty feminist with the personal style of a fifties film vamp who can kick your ass at Scrabble. Fantastic husband? Check. Convertible? Check. Leopard print pumps with a peek-a-boo toe? Check. Red lipstick addiction? Check. What more could a girl ever want?
5 comments:
We all have those posts every once in awhile and we all need to take breaks. Even from things that are usually cathartic or helpful. Welcome back.
I missed you - glad you are getting stronger fertility signals and congrats on working out and eatting healthy!
you give plenty support - don't you worry about nothing!
Glad you took your needed break. And I'm so glad you're starting to feel better. Sometimes you have to put yourself first and take care of yourself. So glad you did
SO glad you are back. I missed you so much and was worried. After that last post, when we didn't hear from you. . . well, I am just glad that you are back.
You give so much support ALL of the time, surely you know that if you need a break, that's okay, too!
Sometimes you just need to take a break, and sometimes you need to vent! This whole journey can be so taxing at times. I hope you are feeling better and it's great to hear that you're having better fertility signals.
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