"Let me get this straight", I said. "So: this three day vacation of his could end up costing us another few thousand dollars? For drugs that don't work on me?"
Sympathetic silence from the other end of the phone. Crap.
So: the next call I made, in desperation, was to my acupuncturist. Was there anything "Chinese" I could do? He advised that I take some of the herbs I usually take at mid-cycle- the aptly named "Mobilize". He said he had no clue if they would work, but it was worth a shot.
I also had: I don’t know how to describe it. Maybe an epiphany?
I was lying in bed Sunday night, (the night before the appointment) and The Man was snoring away, and I was just overcome. As awful as all of this is, I
am so lucky to have what I have. There are people all over the world who have
so much less. I was just so grateful to be moving forward, and to still
have options. And I thanked God for my blessings, and I thought, “Well,
this is it- I will know tomorrow. If there’s nothing, maybe I should just see
it as a sign that this is not the time. But if there is something, then I am
going to take it and run with it. And be thankful either way that I have the
resources to handle whatever happens."
And then I went in yesterday and got the news that things were
finally starting to happen. I had one follicle coming along on the left, and two on the right. "Mobilize" evidently did the trick. We agreed that I would take small doses of injectables- just Gonal, no Menopur this time- and hope that I get three shots at it this cycle. Which seems almost too good to be true.
And upon leaving the doctor’s office, walking on
air, I came within inches of being backed over by a delivery van.
One more step, and it would have flattened me. And instead of being
infuriated at their negligence, I am just awed at my luck, and grateful that
they missed. I can’t help seeing it as a sign, even though that’s a little “woo
woo”- I’ve become superstitious after years of dealing with this, what can I
say?
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